To cut a long story short, I realised quite quickly in my older teen years (17) that my dad manipulated and gaslit me throughout my childhood and my mother was never the villain. Dont be surprised if Tim calls it off. I wouldnt invite them either. Also this is really concerning that you dont see that aspect. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Only yours should matter. You're totally right, they were finding out if they could judge him over being a "brainwashed liberal commie" is the vibe I'm getting. He fights everything that's put in place to help him and rejects the idea that he's actually making things much worse for himself and for his relationships. Leaving the inhaler is potentially life threatening!!!! I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. INFO: did any of these prankster men go to college? They are absolutely brilliant in other ways and some of the kindest people I know. They'll fit right in regardless. These are not pranks. Your fiance is a saint and by everything sacred in the world must he love you alot to stick with you! My husbands tires would cost 500-600 per tire, so we would be out 2000 at least if we had issues with all 4 at the same time. I cant imagine how they will treat your kids. People really act like this? There's being funny, there's being annoying, there's bullying and there's torture. NTA. You allowed it to get this far, far enough that YOUR family jeopardized the health of a man you claim to love. This is dangerous and just irresponsible. They all sound like the very worst the patriarchy has to offer and the fact that you are still in regular contact with them and subject the man you love to their dumb bullying is worrisome, to say the least. A prank leaves people laughing all together over something silly and stupid. Yeah, it can range in severity. He was my hero. Or do they just think hanging with your family is something you have to rush like a frat? Obviously Tim went on that camping trip with them for you, he clearly does not like these people. Also if she had to beg and beg for you to go with her she may have assumed you didn't want to come and she was relieving you of a burden when she cancelled. OP mentioned demanding they stop. Attempted murder. if OP's fiance was my friend or family member, i would tell him to end this relationship asap before anything worse happens and no person is worth this hassle. They might show up anyway and cause an embarrassing scene for "pranks" and revenge. Youre right - they were hazing him. Cut her some slack. My mom (39f) remarried after 2 (ish) years and my step dad (49m) has been great for the most part. Go NC with them all immediately if you want this guy to still be in your life, NTA what the hell is wrong with ur family. I myself have an in law I do not like but noone would ever know it because I respect and love my brother. I'd pick stepdad, he chose to be family. They could be arrested! Get ready to LC to NC. You have already been uninvited, just let bygones be bygones. This is curious that your siblings are not on your side . is that the right term? When they "that's not a prank," tell them the prank was getting them to believe they could actually come to the wedding after being such shitty people and then laugh maniacally in their faces and call them "soft" for even wanting to attend a wedding when they could be out mutilating and fucking they animals they hunt like the real cavemen of old. Stand your ground and protect your fianc. Youre supposed to protect him just like he is you, even if that means from your family. Being in a good mood I went on a websearch to add some examples of that having happened. If someone hid my inhaler, I would consider that attempted murder. If I were Tim I'd be questioning the marriage with a hostile family like that. If everyone isn't laughing at the end of something, it's not a prank, it's bullying. That should NEVER be something to joke about! The first year i was on the rocks with my mom so i invited my dad and his gf, the next year however i was good with everyone and invited my mom and my dad. I agree!! Slashing tires is illegal and it seems there are witnesses. Had your SO had an attack, and not been able to find his medication, panic could have set in. They could have killed him. The slashing of the tires would probably be my limit for being around them, but he went on a solo camping trip with them after that (solo as in he didnt have anyone on his side to back him up if they pulled the shit they did)?? NTA. After a few minutes of raucous razzing, you can hand them a small item and tell them they can remove the straws, taking at first only one regular breath, then back to the straw, then one regular breath, alternating for another 10 minutes. I'd have noped out much sooner no matter how much I liked a guy. The recipient should be laughing just as hard as the prankster and any observers. I'm almost done and it's been a lifelong dream of my mother's to have her children graduate from college. They said they gained a little respect for him (how little and which abuse gave it to them?!) If someone stole my inhaler and hid it as a prank I would be furious, it isnt funny to not be able to breathe properly. OP has to show Tim that she is on his side no matter what. Exactly. The man could have died or faced serious injury without that inhaler. NTA. Like good for you for uninviting them but they had to threaten to kill your husband for you to do that? probably just some well deserved peace and quiet. Ive been nagging him to go to the doctor to get it checked out and he has refused for months, even though it would be free. However your an AH for letting it go on this long. Do they not know how many people die from asthma attacks? Him not being able to breathe, "Oh look! I know, right? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. NTA at all. What awful people. It doesn't matter. Oh then hell no! You're TA for continuing to subject your fiance to them. Either dump the family, or dump the fianc so that he can find someone better. Not only uninvite them, you should cut contact completely. Its unfortunate that they are your family members. Hey Timmy Jr! What is going to happen if you have kids? Timmy will never feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the next shit show. She should've shut that crap down long ago, and you can't fault Tim for wondering how their married life would turn out with that family in the background. My mother had saved child support payments for years so I could go to college. They were so busy feeding their egos that it didn't occur to them that they were jerks who were committing a crime when slashing tires and seriously risking the fiances life when they hid his inhaler. They put his life at risk, am I getting this right? Middle of the night call to wake them up hysterical, "He still isn't back, he isn't answering his phonehave you heard from himwhen do I call the police and report him missing?". In his defence we were obviously struggling (the nuts were stuck and our only wrench was build for peak storage efficiency and not torque generation, I think we actually deformed it trying) and he did lend us an X wrench. I doubt she will stand up to them further. They dont realize how much theyre fucking up and its scary. It could easily turn into manslaughter if the fianc died. The only difference is, I was about 13 when I was forced to realize my father was a terrible, manipulative man. Just to make sure they didn't need help. NTA- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, and uncle from your wedding. NTA by far. Fuck that noise. Asshole I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. My husband currently has lower right back pain that shoots to his groin and the chiropractor cant fix it. All these grownass dudes doing this just cannot see they're actually showing everyone how stupid they'd rather be. When I was little we were best friends. Would you want to put your child and your mental wellbeing through that? Sounds like you have a choice to make. Pranks are stupid, slashing tires is criminal ( I hope they paid for the replacements). This has to be fake. Knowing all of this, I have no idea why he would've gone on a 3 day trip with your family WITHOUT you unless he felt like he had to. Youre a bad girlfriend. Until and unless they decide to give a heartfelt apology and change there actions I wouldnt consider wanting anything to do with them. If YOU don't drive a wedge between you and your family over this, what kind of partner would you be? You don't need your family to think your fiance is "man enough", and their definition itself is horrendous. I sent Dean and Kevin invitations but once they found out that our stepdad was going to be there, they said they might not come. Us: Yes? They've shown who they are and they aren't going to change. What if they show up trying to get revenge or prank him ruining your special day together (which we all know they would). NTA - definitely let this be the thing sl that ruins your relationship with your family, as your mom puts it. Those scars leave a mark. She's not bordering on it, she's well over the border. Putting frogs in people's beds isn't cool either, if someone came on here and said their family kept leaving frogs in their fiance's bed no one would say, "haha good one, tell your fiance to quit freaking out over such a funny joke.". Hiding lifesaving medicine? A parent's approval means the world to a person who is about to marry the love of their life. They will have to live with the consequences of their "funny" prank and I find them being uninvited "just as funny". People who havent felt like that cant understand just how scary it is. I think OP should have shut this nonsense down before the inhaler "prank" ever happened, and I'm almost inclined to consider her the AH for that reason alone. Her family is toxic. That wasn't just a harmless prank, they were literally endangering the life of your fiance. You don't need them at your wedding and honestly? I grew up in a house where my dad would pester us to the point of crying, then get mad that we were crying because "I'm just messing with you!!" And it sounds like typically the women enable it. It was not fun. You joke, but men let their toxic/insecure masculinity come between them and lifesaving healthcare. Imagine a child with asthma or a food allergy where they think it's all made up and the kid is just being "soft". Yeah, NTA. It doesn't look dangerous to them when you're wheezing from an attack. Judge, it was just a joke! Do not let mum, brother and friends tell you otherwise. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Aita for uninviting my parents to my wedding; quad cortex neural dsp price; the forest fly command; python flush output; salvage car auction virginia; the book of psalms explained pdf; heineken hoodie; steel pipes suppliers in uae. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. We know our own families and how to handle them already, so it just makes sense. They've shown they aren't capable, loving, supportive people. NTA and personally I'd go no contact. Imagine having asthma? Your family needs some serious help. Things like tattle tail and what not is a typical response from bullies and reading all this has bullies written all over it. Hill to die on is a good metaphor because an asthmatic can die without his inhaler. NTA. Press J to jump to the feed. No, they had to literally endanger his life and/or health before you took this seriously. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Recently, he TOLD ME he was taking my car to see his bio son. It's just a prank! Hiding inhaler is not a joke and slashing his car tires, i assume they paid money to get things right? Keep a lifeline out for your siblings, if they ever choose to break free of his gravity, but harbor no regrets for those family members who keeps themselves in his orbit. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. This should go for anyone who defend them as well. Oh wait. Before they say their next word have him explain this is what true strength is. NTA. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? You also suck for waiting this long but at least you have done something now. Wow I wonder how manly they would be if your poor partner suffered a major attack and sadly passed. Your mother is enabling the behavior by dismissing it and insisting you let it go. NTA. There was nothing boarderline about this it was harassment and they endangered his life on purpose. NTA for calling them out but you are TA for letting it continue this far. 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aita for uninviting my stepdad